Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Would You Like A Little Cheese With Your Wine?

That sucks. On the days that it's perfect for you to have an open day, the weather sucks. On the days that you're stuck in a stinking office, it's beautiful. I should have spent today laying out by the pool. I think I'll change my schedule to work only on shitty days. Well actually, when the weather sucks you don't wanna leave the house. Okay, I'll just take a permanent day off.

Yeah right, I wish!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

For some reason, I start "certain weekends" off by feeling depressed and agitated. I'm glad that it didn't end that way this time. I can honestly say that this has been one of my better weekends in a long time.

I began my Saturday morning by meeting my friend, Rachel, in Crowfield to go for a run. It was her first time to run, and I must say that I was impressed, as we ran 5.1 miles. The weather started out as cool and overcast (perfect for running), but by the time we finished, the clouds were gone and the sun was shining. We decided to take advantage of the fantastic weather and go back to my pool to work on our tan.

After tanning and showering, we were ready to get out and do some shopping. We're to be running the Cooper River Bridge next Saturday, and who can run the bridge without new attire?

Ricky and Donna also came in to visit Friday evening, and I made it a point to drop by there and chat before heading back home. They took Dad out that day to drive to the beach, which I think did wonders for him. He was in a great mood when I got there; something I hadn't seen in quite some time. I'm so glad that they were able to get him out of the house.

I'm feeling good today. I was to meet Rachel again this morning at 7:30, but the weather is really rainy and yucky today. Darn, I was looking forward to that run too...

Monday, March 21, 2005

Awaiting My Heaven

YeeHaa!! My very first jump in 2000

gotta fly, gotta fly, gotta fly, gotta fly, gotta fly....

I so badly need to get into the air! Not necessarily skydiving, but my wings are dying to be stretched. If things go as planned, I'll be hanggliding in a few weeks. Gotta get my feet off the ground.

Sugar N Spice & Everything Nice...

pretty in pink

Anna called me a few days ago. She's gotten another sonogram, and she's having a GIRL!! Kevin's curious to know why I'm so excited, as she was sort of hoping for a boy? Who cares--I had my heart set on a girl.

Pretty dresses, flowers, hearts, lots of pink, butterflies...

Saturday, March 19, 2005

We Definitely Have A Nursing Shortage

Phew, it's been an exhausting weekend-and it's only Saturday! It's about 5:30 p.m. and I've just woken up. The last couple of days, Dad has been a little grouchy and not his usual self. I guess that under the circumstances, he's entitled to be in a bad mood.

Last night, he was still running a low-grade fever, feeling nauseous, and in terrible pain; a 10 on a 0-10 scale. His pain medications ran late, and his IV bag was running empty. Just to give you an idea, the alarm on it was going off for two hours before it got changed. By the time I'd gotten him settled, he asked me not to "abandon him." You see, my mom's been coughing and she's not to spend the night with him, for fear that he may catch it (coughing is NOT good on an abdomen that's been cut open). Usually, Dad encourages me to get home and spend some time with the hubby, but last night was rare. After seeing how everything ran today, he was afraid he would not be attended to last night, and was practically begging me to stay. How could I not?

Last night, I was up every hour checking him, helping him out of bed when he needed to use the restroom, and rewetting his cold compress to try to relieve some pain and bring his fever down. Overall, I believe he slept okay; that is, until about 4 a.m. when his pain meds wore off. Again, it took 2 hours after requesting his late pain medications and to replace the IV fluids nagging, "Change Me!!" while we tried to sleep. Needless to say, I was up by 4 and worn out.

By the time Mom came by to relieve my shift, I had Dad cleaned up and groomed, sitting up in his recliner, and his bed changed. By 1 p.m. I was back in bed and sleeping like a log. I'm a little worried about how well things will run while Mom stays tonight, but the good news is that PT has finally came by and dropped off his walker. That should make it lot easier on my Dad, and Mom too.

I think that since I've been given the night off, I will spend some time with the hubby (haven't seen him since Thursday!) and try to take on tomorrow evening to give Mom a break too.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Put On Your Happy Face

I took Dad to the hospital again today. We were hoping that for this next surgery, his aneurysm would be able to be taken care of by a stenting procedure. It looks as though things are a bit more complicated, and he will be needing open surgery again.

It breaks my heart to have to think of my dad going through this again. After all, his open heart surgery was only 2 months ago. I used to think that my dad was someone who could fix and do anything. But since his illness, I've realized something I'd never noticed before. There is something in his mind that is so very vulnerable and afraid...almost weak. Since I've realized this, I've been determined to stand beside him every step of the way and be his strength. For the most part, I feel that I have been strong, but there are times when I feel my exterior begin to crack and I need just a moment to cry and then regain my composure. Learning that he would be needing open surgery once again was one of those moments.

Quickly drying my tears, I put on my brave face and met him in his hospital room with the doctor to break the news to him. He is, of course, afraid. But, I have assured him that this will be easier than the last. I have assured him that he is in good hands, with doctors who have done this many many times. Slowly but surely, we will get through this. If I could take his place and do this all for him I would, but I can't. All I can do is continue to be strong for him and be the last person he sees before his scary procedures, and the first one to greet him when they are done. Little by little we will get there, and I will continue to hold his hand every step of the way.

Friday, March 04, 2005

What A Way To End An Evening

Oh shit. On my way home from Wild Wings tonight, one of my worst fears happened. A deer ran out in front of my car and I hit it. I swerved and tried to miss it, but it was no use. The road was too dark, and I didn't see it until it was too late. Although the deer is nowhere to be seen, I f*cked up one of the cars from off of our lot. Shit shit shit. Kevin is so pissed at me...I hate being helpless like this. All I can do is apologize and sit there like a dumbass while I'm being bitched at. It sucks to be dependent and useless. What a shitty feeling.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Back In The Old Days...

Kevin and I drove to Summerville this afternoon to pick up a car. Stratford High students were just getting out of school, and I couldn't help but notice the cars coming out of their parking lots. Escalades with rims costing a couple grand, brand new Jeeps, and other very nice vehicles. I couldn't help but think back to my highschool days. Kevin and I both agreed that kids didn't drive cars that nice back when we were still in school.

Sunday evening, Jen came over for dinner. As we discussed her pharmacy schooling, the topic of Ritalin came up. You wouldn't believe how many students we have here at our dojo with "ADD" or "ADHD." From my experience here at work, when a parent tells me that their kids are ADD or ADHD, that is synonymous with "undisciplined." And then, they decide to drop their monsters off here to pawn them off onto someone else to discipline 'em. Well, guess what. It doesn't work that way. You can't allow a child to run like hell as they please over whomever they want for 7 years, and then try to have somebody teach them otherwise. And then worse, continue not to enforce discipline at home. I think that if I were a doctor, and a parent claimed they thought their kids were ADD, I would tell them that the remedy for that is a good 'ol fashioned ass whoopin'.

Now, a saint, I am not. However, I feel that kids these days are extremely rude, lazy, and undisciplined. They have no sense of responsiblity. Of course, this is the parents' faults. I only hope that I will continue to make mental notes of these blaringly obvious traits that I too often see. After all, someday I too shall be parent. And suddenly, I am afraid.