Matrix Karate

Man, this is the kind of karate I need to learn!

Isn't He A Ham?!

gabriel and molly
Originally uploaded by xosunnydaysxo.

What was life really like before him? I never knew how one little person could make your life that much more meaningful and worthwhile.

Still when I put him to bed at night, I look at him in awe. Am I really a mother? It's so hard for me to believe sometimes. Did I really create this little life? I can't believe how beautiful how he is.

Then, I touch his face and and close my eyes. I truly am so blessed.

Let's Revisit My Old Blog

I happened to stumble upon an old blog today, written about 3 1/2 years ago. This is a short list I compiled about things I would like to do before I'm 40.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004
9:03:15 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Things I Would Like To Do Before I'm 40


Graduate from AFF--nope

Get down to 110 lbs. (and stay there)-- Yeah, right! Not after having a baby!!

Go Hang Gliding--Check!

Go White Water Rafting--Check!

Visit all of the places in the "Kokomo" song--So far I've accomplished Bahamas and Jamaica with the girls

Travel abroad (Spain, Greece, namely)--that will have to wait until Gabriel gets a little older

Revisit the Philippines--ditto

Finish the tattoo on my back--not yet

Find myself spiritually--I've finally found my home and have renewed faith!

Have my 10th Wedding Anniversary in Vegas (a really cheesy one with Elvis)--to come

Learn Spanish fluently--I forgot about this one

Spend a White Christmas in the mountains--planning in the next couple years maybe

Have a perfect little girl--how about a boy...that will do!

Be satisfied with myself!

Well, let's see...I can say that there are a few things I've done here. One thing I am most thrilled about is finally finding a church to call my home that I've learned to grow in. I've still lots to learn, but I've found lots of peace in this place, and have renewed faith. Actually, have probably found faith in Christ I didn't have before.

I've also realized that I will never be satisfied with myself. The biggest thing for me right now is that I am in a complete quandary with my job. I'm completely not happy and am at a loss at which direction to go. The real estate market is on hold for me at the moment, but I am beginning to feel a need for a more stable career. I keep thinking that I don't feel quite qualified for bigger and better things, and it's so frustrating.

You know that feeling of knowing that there is something big and great out there waiting for you? But for whatever reason, you just can't find it, or figure it out? I know I am capable of doing something great that is profitable and that I enjoy doing. I am not meant to be doing weird jobs and trying to stumble my way around at 30 years old, wondering what to do with my career. I enjoy my real estate, but there's gotta be something more stable for me. I'm capable of doing a great job, and succeeding, but I just can't figure out with what. And that...is frustrating me.

At times like this, I've learned to turn to prayer. A few weeks ago, our sermon was about making our move to make things happen. And then, also knowing that sometimes when we move too quickly, we fail to hear our instructions to slow down and allow things to happen. So, how do you know when to move and when to stand still?

Changes

So, along with the change of seasons comes another change. Tomorrow will be my last day on site here at Carlton Place. I am not leaving Prudential, but will continue to keep my license to sell real estate on the side, and have in the meantime taken on a completely different position in my career.

I've accepted a position at Talent Tree as Branch Manager. I've actually already started working, and see that there is, again, lots for me to learn. I hate the feeling of not knowing what I'm doing in my job. Especially when I'm the boss.

I have mixed feelings about this new change. Although I am excited about being given the opportunity to do this with a decent pay, I am disappointed that I will temporarily be leaving the job I have enjoyed doing for 2 years. But when the market turns and it will be profitable financially for me, I plan to return full time and give it another go. For now, my focus is my new position...so wish me luck!