Let's Revisit My Old Blog

I happened to stumble upon an old blog today, written about 3 1/2 years ago. This is a short list I compiled about things I would like to do before I'm 40.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004
9:03:15 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Things I Would Like To Do Before I'm 40


Graduate from AFF--nope

Get down to 110 lbs. (and stay there)-- Yeah, right! Not after having a baby!!

Go Hang Gliding--Check!

Go White Water Rafting--Check!

Visit all of the places in the "Kokomo" song--So far I've accomplished Bahamas and Jamaica with the girls

Travel abroad (Spain, Greece, namely)--that will have to wait until Gabriel gets a little older

Revisit the Philippines--ditto

Finish the tattoo on my back--not yet

Find myself spiritually--I've finally found my home and have renewed faith!

Have my 10th Wedding Anniversary in Vegas (a really cheesy one with Elvis)--to come

Learn Spanish fluently--I forgot about this one

Spend a White Christmas in the mountains--planning in the next couple years maybe

Have a perfect little girl--how about a boy...that will do!

Be satisfied with myself!

Well, let's see...I can say that there are a few things I've done here. One thing I am most thrilled about is finally finding a church to call my home that I've learned to grow in. I've still lots to learn, but I've found lots of peace in this place, and have renewed faith. Actually, have probably found faith in Christ I didn't have before.

I've also realized that I will never be satisfied with myself. The biggest thing for me right now is that I am in a complete quandary with my job. I'm completely not happy and am at a loss at which direction to go. The real estate market is on hold for me at the moment, but I am beginning to feel a need for a more stable career. I keep thinking that I don't feel quite qualified for bigger and better things, and it's so frustrating.

You know that feeling of knowing that there is something big and great out there waiting for you? But for whatever reason, you just can't find it, or figure it out? I know I am capable of doing something great that is profitable and that I enjoy doing. I am not meant to be doing weird jobs and trying to stumble my way around at 30 years old, wondering what to do with my career. I enjoy my real estate, but there's gotta be something more stable for me. I'm capable of doing a great job, and succeeding, but I just can't figure out with what. And that...is frustrating me.

At times like this, I've learned to turn to prayer. A few weeks ago, our sermon was about making our move to make things happen. And then, also knowing that sometimes when we move too quickly, we fail to hear our instructions to slow down and allow things to happen. So, how do you know when to move and when to stand still?