Pass....

MMMMM...don't you love waking up in the morning, having your husband cook you breakfast, and finding "things" floating up in your pancake batter?

Scary...

Oh shit. A scary thing happened to me today. I've been tired as usual, but especially so today after being up very late last night trying to get groceries done and laundry and getting stuff ready. I drove home from work today with Gabriel and had to keep shaking my head to stay awake. Before I knew it, I jolted myself awake to find that I had fallen asleep at the wheel and had drifted onto the grass off of Old Highway 52. Shit, that was scary. Now what the hell am I doing up still working and trying to get more laundry done and blogging in this damned thing? I need a fucking break. I gotta get to bed...right now.

Rachel's In Town!

rachel_gabriel
Originally uploaded by xosunnydaysxo.

It seems that every time my girlfriend, Rachel, comes into town I'm working. Either that or there's something going on. I haven't seen her since her Bridal Shower back in May (?).

She called me last week to let me know she would be in, and I made sure to completely move my work schedule around to make time for her. I was especially excited because we had planned to fly Sunday, as she is a private pilot.

After working out a few kinks with Gabriel, we were dressed up and ready to head out to meet her and then head off to the airport. But Rachel calls to tell me the clouds and weather weren't ideal flying conditions. Damn. Regardless, we met up a couple hours later and had breakfast.

It's been awhile since Rachel and I have been able to hang out and shop. We used to really enjoy hitting the sales racks and doing typical female bonding things, but it's been a little difficult with Gabriel and my busy work schedule. Thankfully, Gabriel was well-behaved and we actually were very tame with our credit cards.

Aside from the crappy rainy weather, it was a day well spent for catching up. Great seeing you again, girl! We'll do the flying thing next time!! :)

I know you were here this morning as I got the baby ready for work. My mind was on my agenda for the day, and suddenly, I felt your presence. I wasn't at all afraid; I felt happy and excited. I couldn't see you or hear you, but I felt you. I smiled and asked the baby to say hello. "Lolo and Lola, I'm so glad that you can finally meet him. This is your first great grandchild, Gabriel..." Somehow, you don't feel so far away anymore.

You Will Be Missed

lolo_lola
Originally uploaded by xosunnydaysxo.

Although you'll be missed, I'm not sad. I take comfort in knowing that you're together again, at last.

A Mother's Love Runs Deep

A Mother's Love Runs Deep
Originally uploaded by xosunnydaysxo.

I know some of you are wondering where the hell I've been. I've just been busy as hell. Trying to balance work and baby and sleep somewhere in between is almost impossible!

My mom has been sick, and Kevin's parents went out of town. They are my usual babysitters when I work. Seeing that I work 7 days a week most weeks, I don't often have him all day to myself.

Kevin was out of town this weekend, and with our parents gone and not feeling well, I took the weekend off to care for Gabriel. Damn, taking care of a baby is hard work! You'd think that it would have gotten easier by now, and I suppose it has. But to be honest, I think all you do is adjust or just get used to being tired all the time or something. On top of that, I ended up sick with the flu and was on my own to care for him. That sucked. All I could think about was bed, and all he could think about was playtime.

By Friday I was feeling better, but suffering from a major case of cabin fever. I don't often take Gabriel out with me, as he gets bored quickly and makes the most pleasurable shopping trips miserable. But with no other choice, I packed him up and off we went. Surprisingly, he's been very good all weekend. I suppose he's getting older and perhaps a teeny tiny bit more independent, but nonetheless a little more pleasant to have around 24/7.

You know, I was reluctant to take the weekend off and miss out on prospective clients, but it's been kind of nice to spend the weekend with just me and Gabriel. I've realized that he really is growing up. His personality has emerged, and I see he's playful and has a quirky sense of humor. Also, he's still got that little temper he's always had.

At the end of my tired day, I can finally get my hands free to finish my chores and quickly put myself to bed as well, preparing to start another day. You'd think that I would hastily put him in his crib with a sigh of relief, but I'm finding that when I lay him down, I miss him at night. I know that's sick, but I really do! I'm almost tempted to carry him to my bed and let him sleep with me, just to keep him near. Instead of running straight to my chores, I find myself lingering and watching him sleep. Once upon a time, I wouldn't let him sleep in my arms, for fear of spoiling him. But now that I see how quickly he's growing, I savor it. It's true...I've heard it before but here recently, I've started to realize it. You never really know love until you've had a child.

Tonight as I watched Gabriel nestled against me, I thought about how much my life has changed. I thought about how I have no personal time anymore, and how my days rush by day in and day out in a constant blur. And still, especially at moments like these, I look at him in awe and I'm convinced that he must be the most perfect creature. And yet even more bewildering is the fact that this perfect little creature sleeping peacefully in my arms is mine.