Okay, I Think I'm About Ready To Shoot Myself

Well, we've gotten our air fixed. I was a little excited to get my bed back, because Gabriel's been sleeping with us, since our room was the only one in the house with the portable AC to hold us over. It's nice to have him near me, but I get scared I'm going to roll over him, which results in me sleeping like a statue all night.

I was just about ready to celebrate when I laid him in his own crib, until he let out an old familiar sound I hadn't heard in awhile. Crying. Yep, he's gotten spoiled and doesn't want to sleep alone anymore. Last night has been my fourth night of not sleeping. That really sucks cause right before our air broke, he was actually beginning to sleep through the night. Getting him to bed was easy; I would just lay him down, and he would toss for a little while and settle into sleep. But, not anymore! He cries and wants to be held. When I finally get him to sleep, he's up in a couple of hours looking for me, won't sleep until I've rocked him (30-45 minutes), then when I lay him down, he only sleeps for about 10 minutes when he realizes I'm not there anymore. And then, it's the same process ALL. FRICKING. NIGHT. Last night, I kept going with the rocking, but finally thought that I should quit, as I'm only reinforcing what he wants. So, I just stood (wearily) by his crib and patted his belly. He won't take a pacifier anymore, but after several tries, he finally took it and fell asleep after about an hour and a half or so. So, I finally collapsed into my bed. Bad news is, it was 5 a.m. Worse news is, he's up at 6. Dammit.

I'm determined to not have him sleep in our bed. So, I suppose I'm going to have to suffer and try to get him to get used to sleeping alone again. I'm not quite sure how just yet, but I sure hope it's soon. I thought I was home free...now I'm back to square one, like having a newborn. The only thing is, I work now. If I can get him back in routine, I swear to God...he will never ever ever ever ever ever ever spend the night in our bed again. EVER. This SUCKS!