Is It Just Me...

How I feel internally most days

I got a massage last weekend, and my massage therapist was astonished at how tight my muscles were..."Are you relaxed? You look relaxed, but you don't feel relaxed?!" I think just as I appear to be relaxed to my massage therapist, I appear in my day to day life as well. I think I've inherited my mother's high-anxiety gene, only I hide it well. Perhaps too well, because I don't realize most days how stressed I am. The doctor has even mentioned this to me, as I've had history of hives (remember that?), mystery burn-like water blisters, and temporary hair loss--"stress related" he keeps telling me. Even during my chiropractic visit, my chiropractor is surprised at the tightness of my neck of shoulders ("Wow! Why are you always so tight every time I see you? Are you stressed out?!")

I have a huge problem with bottling up my emotions. Things that upset me or make me angry, I often try to ignore. Of course, after awhile, it becomes too great, and I end up blowing up. When is it the appropriate time to act? When do I keep it to myself? Why don't people just quit acting like dumbasses and pissing me off....